


All time low

by creativwritingmind



Series: Two [40]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Friendship/Love, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 14:47:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10192301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creativwritingmind/pseuds/creativwritingmind





	

Saturday night, a late saturday night in the life of a 22 year old boy shouldn't have looked like this. I probably should have been at any party, hooking up with semi-drunk girls or having dinner in a cheesy restaurant with my newfound girlfriend. Maybe I should have been rolling through the clubs with my homies or driving illegal car races down in the suburb of Columbus. Whatever a normal young man did on a saturday night – it probably should not have included kneeling on a dirty highway in the middle of nowhere, shoulder to shoulder with my sweaty, smelly best friend, trying hard to remove the swrews of the flat tire on our van.

This could have been kind of a crazy, funny roadtrip, two dudes and one car, you know that story out of every second bad blockbuster, but sadly this had become our daily life, the path we had choosen. Josh and I were noones in a world full of someones, running past a dream that had seldom seemed so fruitless like on this day. Driving 300 miles to play for 2 people had been the most demoralizing thing we had done till now, and we both had agreed that this better would be the very bottom of our carrier. From there there was only the way up. 

Yet, in the cold hour of the morning, when the concrete scratched my knees through the fabric of my jeans and my knuckles hurt on the force I gripped the tool, I began to consider that we might have taken the wrong road in life. Playing basketball would have been a lot easier. Although Josh and I didn'T knew each other for too long then we had already clicked. Something about him was just right, just familiar and I had been open towards him right away. A lot of my older friends where surprised how fast we grew close, how much time we spent together. 

Noone had been surprised when Josh had quit his job to come play with me. Sometimes I wondered if the strong bond we have had right away had been the cause for Chris leaving. Anyway, my thoughts couldn't trail too far away as Josh sighed frustrated beside me and let go, sitting back on his heals, folding his arms around his knees. "I can literally hear you overthinking." he said, friendly, in a way that just couldn't upset me, still challenged me to answer. "Can you blame me? First we nearly don't make it there in time, then we're playing for the drummer and the soundguy of the band that headlines and now we're stuck on this fucking highway! Yeah, I'm overthinking this thing. And maybe I should have done that way sooner!" 

I hadn't meant to sound so snappy, but I was pissed off by everything, tired and just wanted to go to sleep. Like so often in the past weeks Josh seemed to get the message then, skomething I was very grateful for. He had found a way to see past my masks, my sassyness, my bad moods. Standing up he reached a hand out for me and nodded towards the van. "You know what? Let's stay here for tonight. We'll have more chance to get this done in the daylight." Reluctantly I took his outreached hand and closed my fingers around his wrist as he did with mine before he pulled me up with one swift motion, into eye level. 

Not letting go of my hand he guided me to the vans back then and we crawled in, taking our shoes off in the process, tossing them somewhere into the front of the car. I knew that Josh was just as tired as myself and that he was a good sleeper, he could fall into dreams in seconds if he wanted too, still he propped himself up on the backseat and scrolled through his phone while I got settled on my back beside him, tackling the task to get my mind to rest. For some minutes I enjoyed the comfortably silence, only disturbed by the sounds of his finger running over the touchscreen, then I sighed. 

"You don't have to stay up for me. I'll be ok." Normally I hated this kind of conversations, but I knew well I could start it with him, he was safe, in a way. Not even taking his eyes from the screen Josh granted me a smirk, shaking his head lightly. "We both know you'll be not. It's ok, Ty, I actually like staying up with you. Stop acting like you're a bother to me 24/7." Rolling on my side to get a better view of his features in the dimmed light we had installed at the vans ceiling I absently started to gnaw at my nails. 

"It's not going to work out, isn't it." I whispered after a while, after the shadows in my brain had been lurking long enough to trigger my insecurity. "There we go." he replied, shut his phone off and folded his hands on his chest, smiling down at me. Josh knew that it cost me quite some afford to open up and once I did I kept going. It was better not to interrupt once my mind started to throw up. 

"I mean, look at us! We've played every weekend since about a year now and not one time we made enough to balance to the gas we needed to get there. You're doing two shitty jobs just for a living and I constantly solicit money from my parents. None of us has a girlfriend let alone ANY friends beside Mark and Michael. I don't know man...maybe we should stop doing this and get ourselfs together." I had not realised when I had started to tremble slightly, but I felt it when I took a breath and the air in my lungs seemed to cool down my blood further. I felt empty, abandoned, out in the open, in this small vehicle, nearly all on my own. 

Driven by the discomposure in me I sat up and ran my hands over my head. "This is going to lead us nowhere....we will wake up one day and have nothing to hold on to, nothing to settle to. We'll be alone, just as we are right now." There was no right answer to this, he knew that. Once that I was in my mindset of self destruct I just needed to ramble, to get it out of my head and convince myself of a better in the aftermath. Still Josh had found multiple ways to help me through that stages. One of it had been to listen. The other had been to touch.

I closed my eyes as I felt his hands carefully running over my shoulders, sligthly tugging me back, an inventation, a silent offer. We had agreed on this, some time ago, had found that there was nothing wrong in being close to each other that way. Feeling my body giving in, just falling back into his arms, my head hitting his shoulder, all my overstrained muscles going slack I inhaled, exhaled, repeated the motion. "I know you will be there." I got on, frowning on the breath running down my neck, the warmth embracing me. "I know we'll always have each other. Still...I...I have to say something...and I want people to hear it." 

Josh only hummed approvingly, the warm sound tingling through his chest and my back right into my soul, his fingertips lightly running up and down my arms. We enjoyed being together like this, without a second thought, without what our rare friends tried to make out of it when they made fun of us. "And I'm afraid that someday you will look back and regret spending all that time with me instead building a propper life." I concluded, taking another deep breath and sinking even deeper into the hug. 

For a long time Josh said nothing, let my words sink in, gave them the space and importancy that they deserved. Pressing his lips lightly to my temple he soothed my raging nervs then, simply by sharing an affection nobody but us understood. "I'll never regret doing this with you. And it will work out. After all it's us doing this, and if there's something I'm sure off then it's you and me." I was used to be told by people to be patient, that things are going to be ok, that life will fall into place somehow. Yet Josh was the only one I was ready to believe in.


End file.
